Obviously, I've made some bad financial decisions to get me to the place I am right now. I've lived way above my means, took out way too many college loans and loaned people money. Which by the way was the worst. decision. ever.

I have completely learned my lesson when it comes to loaning anyone money. I will never do it again. Period. The worst part about loaning someone money is not that they don't pay it back, it's about losing friends, feeling awful and regretting it.

Four years ago, I loaned a friend about $5000 (I paid for her expenses using one of my credit cards). She agreed to pay me back every month to pay down the debt and give me her income tax check(s). Obviously, she hasn't kept her end of the bargain as I still owe about the same thing on the credit card as I did four years ago. She has maybe given me $1k so far - all has gone to interest.

It's been months since she has given me anything, we don't see each other anymore, we don't speak and I hadn't asked for anything in probably a year. It made me feel so horrible knowing that I needed to talk to her and not wanting to. But I can't allow myself to pay her debt any longer. I refuse to.

It doesn't help that I HATE confrontation and I avoid it like the plague. The last thing I want to do was bring up the money. I have no idea why it bothers me so much: it's rightfully mine. We had an agreement in writing. I could take legal action and I feel I would win. She always talks about how badly in the hole she is and how she can't afford anything. Even though she's screwed me over, I still feel badly for her!

UGH. Never again!!!

Anyway, I've beyond committed to paying down my debts (which includes hers) so I finally got up the courage and emailed her. She texted me back immediately, we met up for coffee, caught up for a few hours and she paid me $300 and promised to pay me $100 a month for now. Apparently, I'm not the only one after her: she cleaned out her 401K after being taken to court by 2 credit card companies. Do I have hope of seeing the $100 a month? Eh, a little bit. She's promised this before. I emailed her back saying it was good to meet up and I was happy with our agreement on $100 a month for now: just in case I need the paper trail. I'm hopeful but mostly proud of myself for standing up and confronting her about it.

Now, onto the good news!!! I’m pretty excited that I’ve wisely use my money to pay down my Discover card more! Wow, it seems like money has come out of the woodwork recently! I think it’s really that I’m just recommitting myself to paying down these debts!

I paid off another $800 to Discover and have $200 left in my account for July bills. I might keep that for savings or pay another $200. It’s hard to decide since I want to keep my savings cushioned. What I am SUPER happy about is upping my minimum payments. I figured out that with the bills I just paid off, I was making about $100 in minimum payments so I’m going to roll that into the Discover card and pay $190 every month instead of the minimum of $90; that’s more than doubling the payment!!

I need to set myself up with a budget to curb some spending. There are some things in my life I’m unwilling to cut back on. I allow myself Starbucks ($5) and lunch out ($8) once a week. I pack my lunches and make my own coffee every other day. I’d love to get a pedicure once a month but I don’t think it’s in my budget just yet. But, I realized when trying to figure out how much I want to pay on bills, I’m not really sure how much I actually spend on things. So I’m going to calculate my monthly expenses and figure out a reasonable amount that I can put towards bills. Anything I get from my friend or parents (they help with my student loans when they can) will go immediately and directly to the card du jour.

What about personal loans and balance transfers? I can’t decide how I want to proceed here. I got a personal loan application from Discover up to $25,000 at 7.99%. I also have a bunch of balance transfer offers but nothing that would take a huge chunk of money off my Citicard. Like $1600 here, $2000 there. I’m not sure the balance transfer fee is worth the hassle. Any advice on that?